Binding Paris with Yoga: My experience
Experiences are so important in your life as I feel they reflect on who you are and the way you approach life. Having the opportunity to go to Paris for study abroad was something I always dreamed of, and I couldn't believe I finally got the opportunity. There was so much pleasure in seeking adventure and new opportunities. Going into Paris I had a lot of high expectations of how I wanted things to play out. In terms of how I want to grow as a person spiritually, mentally, and physically. I set a lot of goals and standards of where I felt I should be by the end of the program. At times this made my experience very uncomfortable and non-enjoyable, because I felt I wasn't reaching these goals fast enough or things weren't going the way I thought they would, then realizing I didn't want all of these expectations to ruin my journey in Paris. I needed to find ways to cope and be able to filter out everything, which is where yoga came in as a huge help. I was able to organize things I was going through while relating it to the practices of Yamas and Niyamas. They all just fit so perfectly hand in hand and I'm truly so happy that this course was available to really help me synthesize the program and experience.
I realized that while I was in Paris there was always so much to take in on the daily and it was almost like sensory overload, and I needed to figure out a way to take it all in without being overwhelmed. Yoga Wednesdays provided me with that outlet. I appreciate the class in both the physical and mental aspects. I appreciate that it wasn't just the Hatha yoga class but also the Raja lecture as well, because that helped me gain a lot of knowledge on what I was doing and how it connected to my experience as well. In terms of the physical part of yoga, I loved finding out new ways to take care of the body and explore different feelings of movement. To me every movement in yoga had feeling. Not just feeling in term of emotion but in term of pain or no pain. The feeling of where things were initiated, and the feeling of exploration. Which was all really nice because I felt very in tune with my body, which is something I started to lose, and I feel it's something extremely important to have as a dancer. You want to know how to treat your body and what feels right for you. I feel that really helps to find your true body movement and flow. Also being a person with injuries I enjoyed the opportunity to ask why I may be feeling certain things and how I can maybe take another route to get to where I need to be without being in a lot of pain. This was all really helpful because it made me truly feel okay with what my body was capable of. Accept the fact that I may not be where I need to be but that's ok and to just keep moving in the correct and nurturing way. It just made me feel way better and happier in my body which is something I've really been missing.
Switching over to the more mental aspect of it when we had the lecture. I appreciate this so much because I did not know how much I needed it. As stated before it really helped me to cultivate a space for everything I was trying to accomplish. I personally did not know that all of these meanings and different practices of yoga existed so it was really nice in general to just be opened up to that. Learning about the yamas and niyamas were a very vital part of my experience. I loved that we were able to learn about these experiences and somewhat interpret them in the way I envisioned them in my life. I was able to relate more to the niyamas instead of yamas because niyamas are more geared towards self cultivation other than yamas being cultivation toward others. And to me it's always easier to work on yourself first before working with others.
I found the niyama Saucha to be very relatable and an easy practice for me. When talking about it in class I had all of these “oh, that's definitely me” moments. For me it felt very nice to relate to something that I would say is positive. You asked us questions of how do we leave a space? Messy? Am I too clean? If so why? And the last questions stuck out to me because I was wondering how you can be too clean?? How is it possible that you wouldn't want the cleanest environment as possible . Then a statement was mentioned “experience the power and purity of simplicity.” Which I took as don't let your saucha overpower in a way of distraction and just keeping it simple. I often let it affect how I see people and if I can cope with their environment if they aren't practicing the same as I would. So me acknowledging this was a big mind blow for me and it helped me to resolve certain situations. I can not do certain things if the space around me is not clean and organized. The space around me being unclean is a huge distraction and I won't be able to focus. What I've also realized is that I should use this same practice in terms of my mind and body. Really making sure to clear out thoughts and distractions that I don't need. Keeping this on a level of purity and balance internally.
Transitioning to another Niyama Santosha, which was a huge one for me. I'm really appreciative of the knowledge I was given of this practice to really help me hone in on these personal obstacles. I feel that we all struggle with contentment and always wanting something we don't have in order to feel a certain way. I personally do this very often and it was something I was aware of but I didn't realize the level it was at. I was telling myself it was okay to want more but in an unhealthy way and not realizing what I already had was enough. Like how could I possibly want something more when I haven't cultivated what's already in me. Anytime I'm able to acknowledge something that is going on, I count that as a very big deal. Because until something is acknowledged how will you ever know how to face it. practicing this has been the hardest for me because I feel that I always want something I don't have. I don't ever take the time to be content with what I have. In terms of life and my dancing especially. I always want to maybe have something I don't have in hopes of it maybe making me better. Attempting to practice this though, I realized that if I can be content with what I have then what I have can be something that becomes extremely special.
Overall I can't express how extremely grateful I was for this opportunity. I can't wait for all that I've learned to influence how I live and create. Yoga is a practice that will always be with me to help focus on the calming of the mind. Thank you.
Emily
Yoga Philosophy Final Paper
April 1st, 2020
Building a Practice of Surrender
While writing about each of the Niyamas and Yamas I felt that I already had had some experience working through all of them, with the exception of Ishvara Pranidhana. I have always worked to improve myself, but sometimes I feel as though I expect too much from myself and end up pushing too far; into a place where it is no longer beneficial to my wellbeing. Without realizing it, I have been working on improving many of my Niyamas and Yamas in the past few years. I have just been doing it without the proper guidance. However, writing about each of them has also shown me the things that I haven’t been working on. These are the areas of self-reflection that don’t even occur to me, which shows how much I really should be focusing on them. I think completely ignoring a part of myself shows a much deeper formed uncomfortability (sic) with it than pushing it away does. Because at least the latter means that I am recognizing and acknowledging it enough to have a bad feeling about it.
I come from a family that is not religious or spiritual in any way. The idea of an organized religion surrounding a higher power was almost a joke and it wasn’t even something that was really talked about. I have come across many different forms of spirituality growing up but I was always too scared to really dive into it. I went to a Episcopal middle school and high school where I was forced to go to chapel twice a week and take religion classes. I always felt this really strong sense that I did not belong in these spaces. I didn’t connect to the ideas that were being thrown at me and the practices in which they took form. Without going into too much detail, I just didn’t like the way it made me feel. However, I found myself wanting so badly to believe in it all. I craved the sense of community it created, I craved the sense of belonging everyone seemed to be entitled to, and I craved the sense of protection they had.
I grew up feeling very isolated, and I am reminded of that feeling now during quarantine. Surrendering to a higher power always sounded like a negative thing to me. It signified a weakness, because I saw giving up control as a last resort, a place you go when you aren’t strong enough to help yourself. I think this is a mindset shared by many people in Western society. Our core values are defined by our ability and need to maintain independence; we idolize self-reliance and hard work, viewing relying on someone else for help as weakness but building ourselves up through “hard work” as strength. Without realizing it, I strongly believed these things about myself. When what I was doing wasn’t successful, my solution was to work even harder. Reading about Ishvara Pranidhana, and the practice of it, I immediately felt comforted by the mindset surrounding it and saw similarities to some of the things I do now. A higher power should not be a last resort when all hope is lost, but instead an ongoing practice of surrender.
When I imagine little middle school me feeling the most alone in the world, I imagine her on the floor of my room. In our rooms we are often alone, surrounded by four walls and disconnected from nature and the life that is outside. When I am in a downward spiral this can often feel like a cold place to be. Without a belief in a higher power it can feel as if our connections to the world around us, and the people in our lives, are flimsy. For the first few days in quarantine I felt myself questioning my relationships to others, because it often feels as if there is nothing tying me to any of the other people in my life; as if there is nothing to actually keep them in my life. I find this feeling hard to explain, but when I am alone this can sometimes spiral into a feeling of isolation and loneliness. When I am in this place, all I am thinking about is myself and I am caught up in an obsession with the “I”. This is my ego taking charge and creating this sense of separation from the world and a higher power. Without surrendering to a higher power it is easy for me to lose sight of the bigger picture, letting my ego take me down paths that distract me from my end goals.
I struggled against believing in a higher power while I was at school because it felt selfish to me. The way it was taught to me is that God is always there for you to turn to in times of need, but this just enforced the narrative in my mind that a higher power is the last resort. And when I was feeling alone, and looking for something to turn to in a time of need, I was too wrapped up in ego to be able to surrender to a higher power. I still have a long way to go with understanding and creating my own Ishvara Pranidhana practice, but RAIN has helped me to integrate it into my thought patterns. Recognizing, allowing, integrating and nurturing has helped me to stop struggling and let life move through me with more ease. It feels like I can melt into what is already happening in the world, rather than feel as though I am constantly pushing against everything. This idea reminds me of the phrase that was used in class, riding the wave. It makes the idea of spiritual surrender feel more familiar. It is already a practice that I have been working on but now in a bit of a different context. It is a constant release of everything that does not serve me, and active giving. With this image I feel as though I can just allow everything to happen as it will and watch it all play out. It also helps me to imagine becoming one with the flow of life, letting the “divine” take over.
Connecting this more to class, I think incorporating physical practice into my surrendering is really important to me because I feel as though I am able to shed a few layers of ego and give more freely. Asanas, and any sort of movement, is a way for me to offer something to my spiritual self. It allows me to be more of an active participant in my life.
Laura Stile
Raja and Hatha Yoga
Michelle Jacobi
1 April 2020
Yoga: Stress and Experience
Yoga is a discipline. A practice for the mind, body and, spirit. Through each avenue of the practice the end goal is to find a level of peace or harmony within one’s self and environment. That said the process of reaching that point can be incredibly stressful. Which is ironic since the desired result is the absence of stress. It is not uncommon for people in the United States to start something then stop because it is too hard. I think that yoga is often in the group of things that people start and stop. They may think, “I took yoga to relieve my stress, but now my body is as stressed and sore as my mind.” That fatality with the average physical practice of yoga in the United States is caused by a closed mindedness of everything should be easy. Well, all things come in time and it takes effort to achieve anything.
Before coming to Paris, I knew yoga enriched and exercised the spirit and mind with the body, but I had not experienced a class that practiced that or explained its correlation with the body. In fact, I hated my first yoga class, because I was not flexible, the class was difficult and painful, and the teacher did not explain what we were doing. I was mentally and emotionally stressed about experiencing something new and was therefore physically tense. Then the difficulty of the class caused my body to become more stressed. It was a bad combination when I thought I was supposed to have a relaxing experience. I decided it was not for me. After that, circumstances brought me to other mandatory yoga classes, and some were better than others, but I always felt stressed about it.
Taking class in Paris this semester I learned so much more about the actual practices of yoga and the intentions of the discipline. I learned of Raja Yoga, the eight-step path to realization in becoming one with everything. Even understanding that it is very rare for a person to reach that highest step. I began to have loving and appreciative feeling for the process and community I felt in learning and practicing Raja Yoga. Though it can be difficult I times I enjoy the challenges and satisfaction that I feel as I integrate aspects and ideas into my life.
As a beginner the Yamas, or the self-control we use when engaging with others, and the Niyamas, our discipline in how we act and develop, have been my focus. They are the start of the eight-part path and include several ideals of how too act and consider one’s self. I also practice the next step Pranayama, a collection of breath exercises which interact with the mind and spirit. I particularly use this for meditation and in conjunction with Hatha Yoga. Hatha Yoga combines the physical exercises with the mind and spirit to reach clarity and peace. This is the most common form of yoga that comes to people’s minds. Even though the commercial yoga usually focuses on the physical aspects and/or leaves out sections of the practice.
Having studied at the Centre de Yoga Du Marais with Michelle Jacobi I now feel like I can use Raja and Hatha Yoga to help enrich my life. I can use the physical stress of mastering a pose to find mental clarity and a centering warm feeling when I do achieve it. I can breathe through difficult times to calm my spirit and mind. Though my physical practice I can have peace with my body and relieve tension. It is with this better understanding that yoga has become a part of my person and not a stressor.
Now, I can look back and know that the physical stress is a pathway to spiritual and mental peace. As well as an eventual physical release. That in working the body, creating stress and relief, eventually brings the whole person into harmony with the release of tension and worry. I can use my twenty-twenty hindsight and see a Strength and Strengthening class I had taken used a lot of yoga. Now, I realize that in that class the yoga positions stressed my body as the other exercises did. They caused a physical discomfort until I work passed it into the comfort of the stretch, strain, and release. At those time I felt mentally and spiritual free. Just as I felt at the Centre de Yoga du Marias.
As I continue on in my life’s journey I intend to continue with my practices of Hatha Yoga and to use my knowledge of Raja Yoga and all the skills I learned to try and be the best person I can be. Life can be stressful and today’s crisis with Covid-19 is the best example of this fact. Just as I finished that sentence, I needed to take a calming breath to release some tension the topic causes me. I am grateful for the tools I now have for dealing with such stressors. I will share as much of the knowledge and skills I have obtained as is possible. In the future I will be a teacher and I will create my own school of dance. Especially at that time I will spread the benefits of yoga and help bring peace to others.
Fay Leonard
Michelle Jacobi
Yoga
1 April 2020
Yoga: Applications and Reflections
To be completely honest, the concept of yoga has never appealed to me personally, outside of perhaps the physical benefits of the hatha practice. Increased stability and flexibility, yes please, but no, thank you to all that "other stuff" – those words I could never pronounce, the idea of meditation which always freaked me out, the aspiration to a higher form of consciousness. A skeptic in general, I found that the majority of my readings or hearings about the world of yoga revolved around the more spiritual aspects of yoga, the particularities which we, or a least I, learned as generalizations for the purpose and practice of yoga in the context of world religion classes or even certain yoga classes. These generalizations, for most of my life, prevented me from exploring the practice and philosophy any further. Though I will be honest in acknowledging that a sliver of my initial ignorance and skepticism still exists in the back of my mind, our time together this semester has opened my eyes a bit more to the greater context of yoga, including not just the physical hatha practice, but also the philosophy of the mind as an integral component of these practices. The Sanskrit terms which once served as a barrier to discovery now inform my everyday life in ways which I never expected. The narrow and one-sided perspective of yoga has expanded to include the spectrum of our individual experiences and our collective experience as a class. Though not fully persuaded, and perhaps never fully persuaded, I believe that I have taken at least one step closer to understanding through this journey. For me, that is invaluable.
In psychology, we learn about the primacy and recency effects. That is, the psychological idea that we remember best the things we see first or hear last in a list, class, or presentation. From our yoga philosophy classes, I feel that I have retained bits of knowledge and information from every class, but the bits which have "stuck" in my mind come from one of our first and from our final class together. Since the beginning of our yoga philosophy classes, the phrase "cultivating the opposite" as it relates to the yogic concept of pratipaksha bhavananot only helped me conquer public transportation in Paris, but also helped me to adapt to my current circumstance, family, and space. Another concept which has stuck is, ironically, the last one we discussed during our time together – the concept of ishwara pranidhana, through which the individual learns to let go of any number of obstacles to their most fulfilling and satisfied life. This concept is helping to guide me throughout these unforeseen circumstances and uncertain times.
The first of these sticky bits is the concept of pratipaksha bhavana, which is a tool in yoga used to promote the non-harming, compassionate practices of ahimsaby cultivating the opposite. If I am completely candid, the term "pratipaksha bhavana” is not exactly sticking with me. I am reading off my notes to spell it each time I write the word. However, the phrase "cultivating the opposite'' has stuck with me since I first heard it in class. For me, it has meant cultivating gratitude and contentment where bitterness could rule my thoughts – relating, by the way, to the niyama of santosha, or contentment. It means cultivating forgiveness toward myself as my body adapts to new space and new practices, rather than wallowing in self-pity and apathy. It means converting my cramped space to a more expansive and comforting space, if not in reality then in my mind. Previous to the pandemic and its effect on the entire world, it looked like breathing deeply and intentionally in the midst of crowded metros and busses to cultivate calmness where panic and claustrophobia would otherwise take over. In any scenario, particularly those most uncomfortable to me, the immersion of my mind into a comfortable and calming world has worked wonders. My cramped, slippery, sometimes hectic, often interrupted space at home has become an oasis. Interruptions of siblings or pets represent opportunities to practice an immediate change of attitude from annoyance to determination. The once anxious and stuffy bus rides of Paris become moments of reflection, calm, and quiet observation in the mindset of pratipaksha bhavana. Overall, this tool has helped me to shift my perspective and cultivate the good where I may otherwise only see the bad.
The second of my stickier bits from this semester, especially recently, has been ishwara pranidhana. When pondering this concept of the letting go, a poem by Emily Dickinson repeatedly comes to mind. It begins, "After great pain, a formal feeling comes," and progresses, likening the process of grief to a "Wooden way" and a "Quartz contentment." The final stanza of the poem is one that arises to my consciousness even now, as I am processing my own grief in leaving Paris, my bitterness in the changing of my plans, and my frustration that has come from prolonged confinement. The last stanza of Dickinson's poem reads:
This is the Hour of Lead –
Remembered, if outlived,
As freezing persons, recollect the Snow –
First – Chill – then Stupor – then the letting go – (Dickinson).
Though perhaps a bit dramatic for the current situation, given that we are safe and healthy in a world where few are, I see this poem as a beautiful reminder that grief hurts and life is hard, but the letting go allows the grief to pass and the next experience to follow. To wallow and reside in the "Chill" or the "Stupor" would be to rob the experience of its full spectrum of richness and discovery. To let go is to allow the experience and the accompanying pain to enter, work, change you, and leave you. Another way to approach this idea would be through the acronym RAIN: Recognize, Allow, Investigate, and Nurture. In the "nurture" one must choose which emotions and/or subsequent actions will be allowed to flourish. When I nurture contentment, I delete bitterness and let go of anger.
Now that I’ve yammered on and on with analogies regarding the subject of ishwara pranidhana, I suppose that I shall entertain you with a more personal application. As a Christian, I equate the concept of letting go to the concept of surrender – a total relinquishing of control with fullest confidence in a God whose plan is infinitely better. In a word, trust. Trust, for me, enables the letting go – even necessitates the letting go. When I understand my life in the context of an omniscient and omnipotent God, I have no choice but to trust Him. As much as I never wished to be home at this moment, I am, and I believe that there is a purpose in that. As much as I never anticipated that a pandemic would so drastically affect my life and plans, it is, and I am choosing to let God work in that. As much as I wish to hold on to what could have been, I cling to what can be and what will be when I allow God to work. Though perhaps I view ishwara pranidhana differently than most, I am pursuing the freedom that can be discovered therein and nurturing that experience in my life.
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